Leaving the Bathroom Door Open - views from an American Romani

Above: A Gypsy Family at a Campfire by the Polish artist Tadeusz Rybkowski (1848-1926). Long skirts, wagons and violins are all part of Romani history- but they interact with other stereotypes about stealing, dirtiness and subnormal intelligence.

By NICOLE ARMSTRONG

Yesterday, my mom and I were sitting in the living room. We were sitting in the living room and not arguing. For us, this was an accomplishment: it had little do with me, though, and more do with the story my mother was telling. At fourteen years old, she asked to use the bathroom at a friend’s house and was told that it was down the hall, and to please leave the door open because they didn’t want anything to go missing. My mom is of Roma descent. To picture her, the strong, independent, trustworthy person that she is, reduced to using the bathroom with the door open, it made me cringe.

It also made me realize something. As a Roma in America, I have the opportunity to live in racial ambiguity. Are you Mexican? Are you Native American? These are questions to which I am no stranger. They have been thrown at me consistently throughout my life. I could say yes, and avoid further questioning; or I could say no, and take the risk of telling them the truth. If I were to pick the latter, I would lead to another question. Who are the Roma? I would then say Gypsies, not because I like the term, but because people recognize it.

Is it a privilege to live in racial ambiguity? It's a tough question, and one to which I have given a lot of thought. Yes, I am able to close the bathroom door. But is that a privilege? Is a privilege a privilege if it can be taken away at any second, or is it a threat?

When I announce myself as a Gypsy, I picture what is rushing through the minds of those around me. Incense. Long skirts. Caravans. Dirty. Thieves. Where did this come from? I don’t steal. Ok, sometimes if my friend leaves a pack of gum out, I’ll take a piece, but don’t we all do that? What has earned me the label of "criminal?"

I have a theory which I will try to explain it as succinctly as possible. The term “Gypsy” came about because it was widely believed that we originated from Egypt. This is not true. The Roma people have roots that tie us to Northern India. Nowadays, though, Roma people live predominantly in Europe. Historians agree that the present day dispersion of Roma people has been hugely affected by slavery. Not long after the first records of the Roma's arrival in Europe, we begin to see a trend. In 1493, the city of Milan made the presence of the Roma punishable by death. In 1499, Ferdinand and Isabella accused the Roma of having no decent way to support themselves, and gave them 60 days to find a master to serve. In 1544, Queen Mary I of England accused the Roma of “devilish practices” and demanded the death penalty for those that refused to leave the country. These are just a sample of the many situations in which the Roma were cast in the role of enemies.

Why? Well, let's consider the context of England at the time. In 1544, England was undergoing the Sieges of Boulogne. One siege was not enough: these sieges were repeated for decades and did not go as planned. At one point, four thousand troops were left on their own without a leader. There was unrest amongst the English population. How better to divert attention than to create a war on those most helpless? You can't scream at your king for spending funds on sieges, but you can scream at your Gypsy neighbor if your queen tells you that that neighbor is using devilish practices to steal what little you have. Distractions can be beneficial. This political tool has shaped the plight of the Roma for centuries, and is one of the root causes for my mom having to leave the bathroom door open.

This history of political accusations has led to a present day web of injustices woven so tight and creatively, even Mary I couldn’t have thought it up. Not only are we called thieves, we are also actively treated as less intelligent, less human, less worthy, beginning at an early and impressionable age. The Center for Civil and Human Rights in Slovakia found that 65-80% of students in reduced-curriculum schools for children with disabilities are Roma. Considering Roma make up 8% of the Slovakian population, this is a huge overrepresentation—and one that does not happen by accident.

Judit Szira, a former school teacher and director of the Roma Education Fund, spoke of controversial diagnostic tests which are used to determine which children need a more specialized education. She explains, “They ask questions which use words the [Roma] child has never experienced. One child was asked ‘Where does your mother buy bread’, and they replied in the corner store. Then they were told that the proper answer was the bakery. But in many Roma settlements they don’t have bakeries.” By secondary school, only 20% of Roma children are attending, and that is no wonder. This leads to a lack of educationally qualified Roma, which leads to a lack of Roma with jobs, which leads to poverty, which leads to disgust from those who will be choosing the classroom in which to place the next generation of Roma children.

But we can change this. I strongly believe that. You may be reading this, and thinking “What the heck, there are no Roma in my area. I play no role in this.” But there are over one million Roma living in the United States alone, and maybe half a million in the UK. So I challenge you to consider the possibility that you, at one point, have asked someone their race, and have had them lie to you because they were scared to tell the truth. So if you’re reading this and thinking, “Well, ok. How do I help?” I offer a simple suggestion. If you have someone who is Roma in your home, and they ask to use the bathroom, you start by letting them close the door when they do so.